Do I really have to talk about eating? To the internet world? And people I know in real life?
Yes. I committed to being open about this process, not because YOU want to hear it, but because I’m hoping that me telling you will help me accomplish actual change. Last year I gave you book reports. This year I need to write updates on this year’s progress. So here we go.
One of my goals for 2012, as you know, is to run a 10K. The impossible 10K. I run 5Ks all the time. Well, maybe not all the time, exactly. I’ve run several of them. A 5K is well within my reach, just by working out regularly for a few weeks. To accomplish a 10K, I’m going to need a little bit more commitment than that.
One important thing is, for the sake of my knees, I need to lose a few pounds. I’m enough of a girl that I’m not going to tell you how many. Tell you what…when I weigh 115 pounds, I will tell you that I weigh 115 pounds! 🙂 (NEEEEEVER gonna happen!) But in all seriousness, if I want to run a 10K, my knees need to carry a little less with them for those 6.2 miles.
Exercise is great. Exercise is healthy and builds muscle and a strong heart and lungs, and gives me TONS of energy, a FANTASTIC good mood, and AWESOME sleep. Exercise is nothing short of amazing. But a person can’t exercise away enough calories to lose weight without looking seriously at what they are eating. So this week, I am looking seriously at what I eat.
I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix this weekend, and it made me think, for one short moment, that I should buy a juicer and go on a juice fast until I am the weight I want to be. Then, since I don’t really want to buy, clean, or store a juicer, I thought maybe I could go on a green smoothie fast until I am the weight I want to be. That thought stuck around for a good 24 hours or so. I mean, the guy on the movie lost maybe 100 pounds by only drinking freshly juiced fruits and veggies for a few months. Surely, I could do green smoothies for a month and get the change I needed!
But…I have plans to try some new recipes with my sister next weekend. And I still want to drink coffee. And it never fails, there will be something good to eat in the teachers’ lounge at some point in the month. Brownies, candy… One time, our school nurse made lasagna for the entire staff! And as much as I want to accomplish my goals, I know that in that moment, faced with gooey warm lasagna, I will choose the lasagna. I have changed a great deal in the last five years or so, regarding what I consider to be food. If there are generic vanilla sandwich cookies in the lounge, I will not have any. I don’t even want them. I would eat highly processed, low quality sweets at the same level of hunger that would make me consider drinking Windex. And I am SO proud of myself for having made that paradigm shift over a long period of time! But hot, homemade lasagna is food. GOOD food. Made with love. And I want to have a taste of it, if it’s there.
I think every other choice that I make has to allow for those unexpected treats. I still say, green smoothies are the key. Here is why:
–Green smoothies reduce my sugar cravings. Ridiculously. In fact, if I’m in a good green smoothie habit, a serving of desert makes me nauseated. When I drink my green smoothies, a taste of the treat is really all I want.
–Green smoothies allow for a high quantity of nutrients and a high volume of food without a high calorie content.
–Green smoothies…sorry for this detail…clean you out from the inside. Very important for weight loss.
–Green smoothies leave you energized and feeling great, especially after a week or so of consistent consumption. In other words, you won’t be crabby from food deprivation. You will be able to do your workouts, perform well at your job, live your life. I will tell you from when I first got into green smoothies, when I said I felt “good” before doing green smoothies, I didn’t know what I was talking about! I didn’t know what good was until I knew what it felt like to be on the green smoothie wagon.
The demons that live inside my head aren’t going anywhere. I love (and hate) a good sugar rush, I swear, like an addict loves (and hates) a line of cocaine. (I don’t mean to offend anyone who is addicted to any substance. I just truly believe that it’s a really similar thing.) Those demons are still there, and I don’t know how to kill them. I do know that when I’m on the green smoothie wagon, they are quiet. I’ve been drinking green smoothies for a week, and I can feel the “good” that I once knew. Tonight I wanted a cookie. So I made cookies. And I ate–get this–one cookie!!! It wasn’t a battle, it wasn’t a fight with my inner demons ending in eating half the batch and then throwing the rest in the garbage in frustration and self-hatred. I ate a cookie, and then I put the rest away. Because I didn’t want any more right now!!! I just wanted a taste! If you have any kind of demon in your head, you know just how huge that is! I know “normal” people just eat that way all the time. I eat that way all the time, too, when I’m drinking green smoothies.
So, for the sake of my goal, for the sake of my health, for the sake of the silence of the demons, I need to stay on the green smoothie wagon!!!