This week, my promise to abstain from TV was like a bad but committed marriage. Some days I cheated. Some days I was faithful. I never considered giving up on my vow, but I wasn’t particularly attentive to it either.
As planned, I am recognizing when it feels better to have the TV off. I am eager to have a little piece of quiet in my evening. I am finding that things get done when my mind isn’t always “plugged in.” I fold the laundry and unload the dishwasher…my most avoided household tasks.
I’m still struggling to “run to Jesus” instead of finding ways to zone out when things are hard or I am tired. In lieu of TV, I scroll through Facebook and Instagram or play games on my phone. (Brene Brown would call these “numbing behaviors,” and as much as I don’t want to, I tend to agree.) I’m not convinced that numbing behaviors are all bad, but I’m not connecting with God most days. I’m not connecting with myself enough to know how I am really doing.
Maybe these are two separate issues, the numbing and the not connecting.
The experience continues.