Photographs

The theme of my life the past few days has been:  You can’t capture something in a photograph.

But I keep trying.

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The heat and humidity of July transform my view into a lush, green, vibrant scene full of life.  Oh, how I love this place I call home!  I’m not spending much time on my deck this summer because a family of swallows has built their home up near the ceiling when I wasn’t paying attention.  I don’t want to evict them when they’re just trying to raise their children.  Full disclosure…also because it freaks me out when they swoop at me.  My tomatoes are dead because I stopped watering them, and it’s worth it to not be dive-bombed by angry bird parents!  So I will happily enjoy the view from indoors until they migrate for the winter.

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A couple of months ago, the pastor at my church was describing spiritual gifts, and he described musicians and “conduits of the Holy Spirit.”  He said that when we play or sing, we allow ourselves to be a channel for God’s presence to flow through us into the people who are listening.  That perfectly describes my experience of playing music…not just at church, but so many of my experiences with singing and playing over the years.  I feel a power and divine presence sometimes that I often try and fail to describe.  Pastor Mark labeled it accurately.

Sometimes I don’t know how to choose a church, how to keep committing to be a member of this community of believers week after week.  Sometimes I don’t know how to decide if a point of disagreement is a reason to leave or not.  Sometimes I don’t know if the fact that I respect the pastor and love the ministry outweighs the fact that I am supremely uncomfortable with this church’s stance on one issue.  Sometimes I don’t know if this church thing is for me at all, when I’m really more of a “rogue Jesus follower” and I like it that way.

But when I sit with the view you see here, when the Divine is flowing through me and filling the room with power and presence…it feels like none of that matters.

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Oh, this sky.  As beautiful as it is in the photo, it was even more glorious in person.  You cannot easily contain the size of the sky in a photograph, can you?

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