Alive

I am feeling particularly alive today.

Which doesn’t make sense, because I didn’t feel dead yesterday.  🙂  But it’s the only way I know how to describe it. 

It’s the piano playing late at night, and the singing in the car, and the community-building class on Tuesday night, and the meeting of new people on Wednesday night, and the seeing of dear friends on Thursday night, and the reading of Psalm 139 before turning off the lights, and the sipping of coffee while the kids tell me their morning stories as they come in, and the reading of Shel Silverstein with MK while he waited for his mom (one of our school nurses) after school, and the so-busy-I’ve-barely-watched-t.v. feeling this week has left me with.  All of it, the busy and the quiet, remind me that I’m alive. 

I came upon a new author this afternoon, Ann Voskamp.  I added her book to my “If the library gets it or buy it in 2012” list.  And I read bits of her blog.  In her most recent post, she talks of tucking her kids in at night, and of the creativity of humans.  “Every person is made by love and we are love and we can’t stop making.  Love makes.”  Beautiful.  But my favorite:

“I lay my hands on both their shoulders and I squeeze and this skin and bone part of them I know that this is the wasting away part and the creative making part deep within these frames is the lasting part, for all creating is out of love and love is the forever eternal expanding through time rippling ring.”

When I shake the hand of a new acquaintance…when I hug a dear friend that I haven’t seen nearly often enough…when I touch the forehead of a 7-year-old to see if she has a fever…when I hold 8-month-old hands to play patty-cake…  I know I’m not touching the part that I love, but only the temporary part, the worldly packaging.  We’re alive because our worldly packaging is inhabited by this lasting part, the “making part,” the part that was created out of love and can love in return.

“Lord, you search me and you know me.”  –Psalm 139:1

When one person “searches” another, they are searching the worldly, temporary part to find out something about the alive part.  You look deep into eyes.  You listen for tone of voice.  You watch for facial expression.  You can’t see the alive part, the soul, you can only see evidence of it.  I believe you can feel another person’s soul with your soul, but our perception is definitely limited.  When God searches me, He sees my alive part.  He sees my soul.  He is not distracted by the worldly packaging, nor is He putting pieces of evidence together to draw conclusions about what could be in my soul.  He sees my soul.  It’s the only part He is concerned with.  He searches me, and He knows me.

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