Sunday Night Musings

I am, always have been, and always will be a romantic.  🙂

I just watched the last 2/3 of the sweetest Hallmark Channel movie that I’ve seen yet, Flower Girl.  I’m about to reduce my 200+ channels down to 27 channels, so it’s not likely I’ll see it again anytime soon, and I want to remember it so I can get it on DVD if it comes out.  I always seem to like the sweet little t.v. movies that are nothing but escapism!  Lucky Seven is another one of my favorite movies, I think it was on ABC Family when it first came out.  And of course, all of the Love Comes Softly movies.

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I have no Sunday Night Dread tonight!  🙂  I don’t quite know what I planned for my class tomorrow, and I’m pretty certain I don’t have all my copies made and materials tracked down, but I am done with everything early enough that I plan to be in bed in 15 minutes, asleep in 45, and wake up early enough to prep for the whole week when I get there.

Option #2, I might just prep tomorrow, and spend time cleaning off my desk!  If I were to come down with stomach flu at this moment, I would still be driving to work in the morning in order to make sure a sub doesn’t have to look at such an unholy mess.  Some teachers thrive on clutter and pack-rat habits, I am the opposite!  I thrive on neat, orderly organization in my classroom, and storing only what fits (neatly and in an organized manner, not all shoved in) on the shelves and in the closets of my classroom.

Either way, the plan is to leave for work at 6:30 a.m. 

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This morning was Palm Sunday.  Thus begins the most amazing week of church celebrations, if you ask me.  This morning we sang a piece called “Thy Will Be Done,” which I talked about last year, but now can’t find.  It has this part towards the end, oh my.  “Then they took our Savior/Nailed him to a tree/And then they broke his body/Poured out his life/Put him to death/To rise again.”  Except you absolutely cannot feel what I felt from just reading the lyrics.  The harmonies and the dynamics during that part…the power that our director can pull out of a choir…I felt saved all over again.  It was powerful. 

Also, at the beginning of mass, we played a majestic “Jesus comes into the city and everyone waves palms” song that started with one whole page of…just me!  On clarinet, of course.  I was a “trumpet” today.  (I’ve been an oboe, a cello, a violin, occasionally a flute.  I’ve never actually been a clarinet for church choir!)  I feel a lot of pressure when I play clarinet at church.  A lot of my time, and a lot of my parents’ money went into learning how to play clarinet well.  It always surprises me when people are moved by my clarinet playing, because I always have the mindset, it should be good.  It should be better than anything else I do, because I have spent more hours at it than anything else.  And this music is easy, compared to what I can do.  It shouldn’t be surprising, or moving, because you should expect nothing less.  Unfortunately, it feels really, really good to have people tell me how awesome I am!  🙂  I say it’s unfortunate because this is for God.  It’s a lot of fun for me…a LOT of fun!…but I don’t want to do it if it doesn’t add something, if it doesn’t play a part in letting God reach people through us.  And having people tell me I did awesome…it makes me want to do it again!  For me, not for God.  I adore our choir director.  She expects a lot.  She always expects just an inch more than you think you can really do.  She does not give praise unless it is deserved.  All the elements of my favorite music teachers over my life.  And today during the sign of peace, she hugged me tight and said with genuine emotion, “Great job this morning.  Great.  Just like always.”  Oh. My. Goodness.  Plus, like, eight other people that had very complimentary things to say.  It’s my drug, playing music in front of people.  It’s addictive.  An experience like this morning, and I just can’t wait for the next time.  I don’t need food, I don’t need sleep, I just want to play some more.  But at church, it’s not about me.  I just pray that no matter how fun it is for me, it makes a difference.  For someone.

Not to mention, the church was packed.  Standing room only, and very little of it.  I can only guess, but knowing how full the church was at a wedding that I know had around 300 guests, I would guess that there were well over 1000 people today, maybe 1200 or so.  It was an awesome day to have one of “those” days where everything is right on, everything feels powerful and incredible.  I hope we impacted some people.  I hope someone in the audience loves Jesus more because of what we did this morning.

The first reading had one of my favorite verses in it:  “For the Lord GOD helps me; therefore I have not been confounded; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame”  Isaiah 50:7  It’s not the most joyous of verses, but I like it.  I don’t even know if I understand it.  But I always think of moments when I want to burst forth with all kinds of things, I want to cry out for all the difficult things that are happening.  But I don’t; instead, I set my face like flint and know that the reality inside of me, between me and God, is more real that what is happening to me or going on around me.  Living out loud as I do, needing to live publicly and interactively, it is the rare moment that I actually am able to set my face like flint.  All the more reason why I need this verse.

Then, of course, the story of Jesus’ crucifixion.  The one part that stood out to me today, just like it usually does, is when Jesus tells the man being crucified next to him:  “Today you will be with me in paradise.”  That’s me, beside him.  That’s me, who committed sins and deserves to be punished for them.  And that’s me, whom Jesus will bring with him into heaven.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mom
    Mar 29, 2010 @ 08:20:20

    Dawn,
    Even though people are complimenting your playing, they know subconsciously that good music is a part of heaven. You are giving them a little taste of that.

    Reply

  2. Doris Jacobs
    Mar 29, 2010 @ 11:40:12

    God doesn’t want us to find the talents he gave us difficult to share. It should be a joy to share what you are great at with others and feel joy in doing it. Joy is as much a gift from God as life itself.
    Love you
    Doris

    Reply

  3. Becky
    Mar 29, 2010 @ 19:52:28

    Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

    Reply

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