Trying to join the 5 A.M. club challenge with girltalkhome.com and it’s not going so well. As though I have an excuse to not rise early and meet with God because I’m suddenly a little more busy than I have been for the past four years.
One, all of this that’s making me busy, I chose it. I brought it on myself, if you will. When a statement like that comes out of my mouth, what I mean is I chose this so I deserve to be punished by the consequences I am experiencing. Several months ago I had a conversation with my aunt and she totally called me on this. Something along the lines of, “You do not deserve to be punished because you made a choice that turned out to be hard. You do not deserve to be punished even when you make a choice that you know is wrong. You do have to deal with the consequences, but you do not need to wallow in the idea that you deserve the pain.” Or something like that. It was several months ago. If she is reading this, she should feel free to leave a comment and correct me if I paraphrased her wrongly. 🙂
Two, I need to get the legalism out of my head and remember that I do not please God by getting up early and praying and reading my bible. I do not make God love me more, I do not make myself more acceptable to Him. All that is finished already, and I didn’t do any of it. What I do is open a door for Jesus to make me more like himself. It doesn’t justify me with God, it sanctifies me to more godliness.
Three, from past experience with this particular practice, I know that a half hour with God is more beneficial than a half hour of sleep. Even if my choice were to sleep 4 hours, or sleep 3 1/2 hours and spend 30 minutes praying and reading scripture, the second choice is the better one.
(Three-and-a-half: If I lived somewhere with that view over my cup of coffee, it might be easier to wake up early!)
(But here’s the one that shows how I usually feel instead:)
(Or this one:)
Tonight I spent 90 minutes watching a Teen Mom finale special on MTV.
Four, Catelynn and Tyler rock. Tyler made a great point when he said, “Catelynn and I could have done this. We could have raised Carly. We made a choice that we knew would be better for Carly, not because we didn’t think we could do it.” Adoption is awesome. I see that the adoptive parents are doing a good thing for the baby, of course. But mostly I see that Catelynn and Tyler are giving so much of themselves for their daughter and for these strangers who want a child. They are taking a situation that’s not so ideal, and turning it into a huge positive, through great personal sacrafice. Maybe it’s “easier” to not have a baby as a teenager, to not juggle school and work and parenting before you’re mature enough to do those things well, to sleep nights and have money to spend on movies and junk food instead of diapers…But it looks harder.
Five, Farrah is still pissing me off. She is such a teenager. She is from the school district where I teach, which somehow gives my coworkers and me the “right” to criticize her every week. 😛 I realize it’s all edited to make a story for t.v., but she comes across as being unwilling to communicate. She just wants everyone around her to be perfect, to be exactly what she needs, without her telling them what she needs. And her idea of responsibility is leaving her child with her mother so she can go out all night and look for a guy to take care of her and the baby. Ugh. Such a teenage girl.
Six, it’s time to get the cable t.v. out of my house!!! MTV is junk food for the brain. So is 90% of what I pay for in my cable bill. I spent 90 minutes “letting my brain eat junk food” instead of doing homework that I have. T.V. is the worst time-suck that I have. It’s one of the reasons I am thus far failing the 5:00 Club Challenge! It’s time to get rid of it.
I learned on Tuesday night that I am 13 points toward right-brained-ness. (That means nothing to you unless you’ve done the test. I’m slightly right-brained. Not extreme, but not so close to the middle that I can easily flip, either. According to the test.) When the professor was talking about right-brained people and left brained people, it all made sense for awhile. Right-brained people who play instruments prefer playing by ear over reading music. Check. Right-brained teachers are more likely to like working with little kids than left-brained teachers. Check.
Right-brained teachers would rather not do lesson plans, might not have written lesson plans in 15 years, and write their best lesson plans after they’ve taught the lesson.
My anxiety rose, my actual physical anxiety, while he was talking about that one! Not have a lesson plan? “I want to go stand over there now!” 🙂