A Small Rant

Arrrghghgh…I just feel like pissing people off today.

But I am too damn nice to really do it.

 

As you may know, a situation with a coworker is difficult right now.  Not the worst thing imagineable or anything, but still, I’m having a hard time this year.  A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that I yelled at her.  Yelled and screamed and cried and jumped up and down. 

And today, in the awake world, I had the urge to actually do it.

 

I want my classroom to MYSELF.  I want people to GET OUT OF THE WAY and let me teach.  I want to have a stinkin’ plan BEFORE five minutes before the lesson.  I want to be treated like a TEACHER, not a para.  And I want some FREAKING WINDOWS.

I am too sponge-like.  I have to be conscious not to take on others’ emotions as my own, and I tend to start sounding like people I listen to a lot.  And unfortunately, that seems to go for attitudes as well.  Because I am experiencing a lot of passive-aggressiveness, I forget to be direct.  I got some great advice tonight:  Let nothing go unsaid.  Because, as much as it might seem easier to say, sure, fine, let’s do it your way, it will be better in the long run to stand up for what I think. 

And also, it might feel even more cathartic than screaming and yelling.  Or ranting on a blog.

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