Only Yours

This morning I read Psalm 101, and it was one of those moments that happens so often, when I think, this doesn’t have anything to do with me!  I’m not a king, I don’t have a royal court.  I had put my own restrictions on which scripture was right, which passages apply to me.  Moving on to the next Psalm…  But something made me stop and really read it, every word.  And…  What if this Psalm is not specifically about a city?  What if it is about a person?  What if it is about the person who is praying it?

I sing of love and justice; to you, LORD, I sing praise.

I follow the way of integrity; when will you come to me? I act with integrity of heart within my royal court.

I do not allow into my presence anyone who speaks perversely. Whoever acts shamefully I hate; no such person can be my friend.
 
I shun the devious of heart; the wicked I do not tolerate.
 
Whoever slanders another in secret I reduce to silence. Haughty eyes and arrogant hearts I cannot endure.
 
I look to the faithful of the land; they alone can be my companions. Those who follow the way of integrity, they alone can enter my service.
 
No one who practices deceit can hold a post in my court. No one who speaks falsely can be among my advisors.
Each morning I clear the wicked from the land, and rid the LORD’S city of all evildoers.

 

How about a rewrite?

 

I sing of love and justice; to you, LORD, I sing praise.

I follow the way of integrity; when will you come to me? I act with integrity of heart within my soul.

I do not allow into my presence any part of myself that speaks perversely. Shamefulness I hate; no such sin can be my act.
 
I shun deviousness of my heart; my wickedness I do not tolerate.
 
Slandering in secret I reduce to silence. Haughty eyes and arrogant hearts I cannot endure.
 
I look to the faithfulness of my soul; it alone can be my companion. The way of integrity, it alone can enter my service.
 
No deceit can hold a post in my soul. No falsely spoken words can be among my advisors.
 
Each morning I clear the wickedness from my soul, and rid this child of God of all evildoing.

 

The song “Hurricane” by Jimmy Needham has been in my heart for several weeks, since I first heard it on his Myspace page.  Everything that we build up inside ourselves, all our pride and accomplishment, all our protection against fear and pain, all our self-indulgence and self-comforting…it can all be against God.  Sometimes we need to ask God to burn it all down, to destroy everything about us that is us.  “It’s Your eye in the storm, wanting only good for me.”  “If destruction’s what I need, then I’ll receive it, Lord, from Thee.”  It’s a scary thought, because we work so hard to build our walls and our worldly protection of ourselves.  But also…nothing I do apart from God is even a shadow of the goodness of what God can do in me.  I don’t want any of my own endeavors to succeed unless God wants them to succeed.  And the good news is, they won’t!  Sometimes it’s just a question of how long I can keep fighting against God’s will.  The very moment I ask God for His will to be done in me, He will rush in to wash away everything I have tried to do, and replace it with what He can do.  He will build His own purposes in me, and He will be right there, with me, in me, protecting me.  I don’t need my own self-constructed walls when I rely on His protection. 

 

I need you like a hurricane, thunder crashing, wind and rain, to tear my walls down.

I’m only Yours now.

I need you like a burning flame, a wildfire untamed, to burn these walls down.

I’m only Yours now.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mom
    Aug 12, 2009 @ 16:00:19

    This is really profound. How about putting it on your St. Vincent de Paul blog?

    Reply

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