Okay, listen up. I am not positive and bubbly and optimistic every day. Sometimes I’m mildly bitchy, for no reason that is evident to you. Or sometimes for no reason evident to me.
I am not confident all the time. I am allowed to feel anxious.
I am not comfortable all the time. I am allowed to feel overwhelmed.
The fact that you are bubbly, confident, and comfortable does not mean I will not feel bitchy, anxious, and overwhelmed. Do not ramp up the bubbliness to try to make me “feel better.” Do not repeatedly tell me that “everything will be great,” trying to make me agree with you.
I am not great today. Today, I am overwhelmed. I promise not to be rude to you, and not to get in the way of your incessant positivity. I promise not to be dramatic or throw a big fit. I promise there will be no tears. I promise to be only polite, kind, and professional.
I do not promise to be bubbly.
I know myself, I know this feeling very well. I know that it will disappear slowly over the first few days of school. I know that between now and them, I have a lot to do. I know that forcing bubbly positivity, in order to make you think I “feel better,” will cost more precious effort than I have to spend, and will only get in the way of the things I need to do.
What will make me “feel better” is to work hard during the day, and make progress toward the resolution of the overwhelmedness. To go through and organize all the crap that comes with inheriting a first grade classroom. To work through curriculum and figure out the big picture of a year of first grade. And to do it all with a rockin’ soundtrack in the background, and escape into a good book at the end of the day. 🙂
BUT, the fact is, life is messy and imperfect, and not bubbly and wonderful all the time. It isn’t all that important to “feel better.” In my experience, “feeling better” doesn’t feel better if it’s forced or fake. What is important is to feel the feeling, let it flow, let it run its course, and work through it. NOT to deny it.
I do NOT like being told how to feel.