Vagueness and Desire

Can someone tell my why the statement “I’m not going to think about _____” always really means: “ALL I’m going to think about is _______!!!” 

Thinking about ___ and wondering about ___ and talking about ___ is not going to get me ___!  In fact, it’s totally up to God whether I get to have ___ or not.

(I’m trying to be vague while venting…can you tell?  It’s personal, and I’m never going to get this particular ___ anyway, so it’s best if it just stays secret.)

Here’s the thing…It’s God’s business!!!  All the effort in the world won’t get me what I want here, because what I want is a situation ordained and blessed by God, and me trying to be in control of it is not going to result in that kind of a situation.  I need to not want it unless God wants it for me, but I’m having a hard time letting go.  I say, God, take away my desire for this, if you don’t want this for me, and I wake up the next morning desiring it even more.  Is that God working, allowing my desire for some reason?  Or is that because trying not to think about something results in thinking about it even more?

It’s so easy to slip into bitterness.  Other people have ___, but I don’t get to.  I’m not good enough for ___.  But I know that’s not what God wants me to do!  He wants me to pursue Him, not ___, and let Him work out the details of ___ in my life. 

“I am the Lord, your God.  You shall have no other gods besides Me.”  It’s the first commandment.  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart.”  It’s Jesus’ translation of the same commandment.  Desiring something more than I desire God is wrong, end of story. 

But putting aside a desire…it’s so hard!!!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Doris Jacobs
    Jul 01, 2009 @ 17:01:38

    Sometimes God is not saying “No” but waiting for us to get over our preconceived idea of “How” to get where we are wanting to be in life.

    Love you,


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