Really. This is getting ridiculous.

It is 2:32 a.m.  I have been home for the night since…several hours ago.  I got up at 8:00 this morning.  I plan to get up around 8:30 or 9:00 tomorrow.  I should be sleeping!  Anyone reading this who ever tucked me in 20 years ago has the right to come to my apartment and give me a swift smack on the backside, take away my toys (aka, computer and t.v.), and turn off my light!  🙂  Because I am acting like a child.  It is my responsibility to make sure I get enough sleep, and I’m not doing it.  I haven’t been, really, for the past four years or so.  I can stay up as late as I want, so I do.  No one is here to witness me watching t.v. until a ridiculously late hour, taking a shower at 2:15 a.m., and then dinking around on my computer while my hair dries.  It’s silly.  This is not how adults behave.


This is a bad habit.  Bad habits generally have a deeper issue behind them, and mine is, I can so I will.  And, of course, the lure of the computer or t.v. screen.  I believe them when they say the lights of the t.v. screen do things to your brain to make you not want to go to sleep.  I assume a computer screen does the exact same thing to your brain.  It’s not that I’m not tired.  It’s almost 3 a.m.!  I’m so tired I’m just hoping all my sentences make sense!  But there is something that makes me not want to turn off the light and go to sleep.

You know, I will also say what you probably already know, that living alone doesn’t agree with me.  I’m happiest when I’m surrounded by people.  I had such a hard time as a junior in college, when I moved out of the dorms and had my own bedroom for the first time in my life.  Four years ago, I moved into an apartment alone, no roommates, for the first time.  And that is when this consistent lack of sleep began.  I can be alone just fine in the daytime, but when it comes time to turn off the lights, it’s more uncomfortable.  It feels like not everyone is home yet, even though of course I know that if I’m home, everyone is home!  Actually, I don’t really notice that feeling anymore, so maybe it just really is a bad habit at this point…


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mom
    Apr 19, 2009 @ 09:46:56

    You know this has been going on since at least December 12, 1981, don’t you?
    Love, Mom


  2. betty
    Apr 19, 2009 @ 20:45:52

    Is it possible you are a night owl–you know, there are a few of us on this Earth who are 🙂


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