Teach me to love whatever You give me.

Congratulations to my friends Becky and Blake, who welcomed their son Isaac on Tuesday morning!!!  🙂

That being said, this blog is all about me, and thanks to little Isaac I’m in the mood to share some of my thoughts on children…

Every teacher has certain ages they like and certain ages they don’t enjoy so much.  I’ve always wondered in the back of my mind how I can possibly be a parent someday when I know which ages and stages I like and don’t like.  But here’s the thing…I love to watch a child grow!  Yes, a roomful of strangers at the age of 5 are much more appealing to me than a roomful of strangers at the age of 15.  But I love watching a child grow bigger and learn more and become more and more independent.  I can’t wait to have the responsibility of guiding and teaching a child into adulthood.  And yes, I am going to be the mom who cries when my children go to college, but I also hope to be the mom who has prepared them well for their adventures.

If, of course, God has children in my future!

Earlier this week I caught a couple of episodes of 17 Kids and Counting on TLC, which documents tidbits in the life of the Duggars, who are expecting their 18th child.  Anytime I see that family, I want to have children!  The premise of the story is that they decided to trust the Lord for the size and timing of their family.  They searched Scripture for what God says about children, and found that children are a reward, a heritage, and a gift.  So instead of asking God to limit their rewards and their gifts, they asked Him to teach them to love children like He does.  And clearly, they do!  I know television is a bad way to compare or draw conclusions, but think about the Duggars versus John and Kate Plus Eight, which I also enjoy watching.  (Also a bad comparison because all eight of the “John and Kate” kids are young enough to need a lot of support, whereas about 10 of the Duggar children are old enough to babysit!)  But the thing I notice is, the Duggars have so much joy about their children!  And with every episode, every interview question, every issue, they point to Jesus as the source of their joy.  The stress and challenge of having such a large family is never more evident than the joy of the One who gifted them with that family.

It makes me wonder…if it’s in my future…what will my family be like?  Will I have lots of kids?  Will I just have one or two?  I could see it either way.  I have such a heart for big families, and I see so much advantage to growing up with siblings.  But I’ve been slowly becoming able to see it the other way, too.  With just one or two, it would be easier to keep working, or go back to work sooner.  There would be fewer years of diapers.  Fewer years of carseats.  Less tuition, if the child goes to Catholic school.

At this moment, my most perfect hope would be to have a lot of kids.  As a child growing up as the oldest of four, I always wanted more!  Four never seemed like enough to me, and I was always hoping my Mom and Dad would be ready at any moment to announce they were going to have triplets or something!  🙂  I would love to have a big family.  I would love to stop teaching, and focus on managing a big home and a big family!  I would love to homeschool, I’ve talked about this before, but I probably won’t!  🙂  And I really would love to never try to have a baby, and never try not to have a baby, and just accept with joy whatever God gives.

I’ll be 27 soon, and biologically, many of the best childbearing years of my life are behind me.  I hear you’re supposed to have your first child by the age of 25 to reduce the risk of breast cancer, and also the risks to the baby of developmental problems and chromosome problems.  I’m no doctor, though.  I’ll keep eating my veggies to prevent cancer, since that other ship has sailed!  🙂  Because of my attitude of the previous paragraph, I’m not all that surprised God has not given me marriage or children yet.  He’s making sure I don’t end up with 20 kids!  🙂

But I would accept the responsibility of mothering just one child, with joy.  You can’t put a timeline on life, or make a plan for that which you don’t know.  So while I, too, pray for God to teach me to love children as He does, I’m also praying for the grace to accept with joy what God gives me today.  Today, literally this day of Thursday, October 9th, God will not give me marriage.  He will not give me children.  Although, He may be working in my life to accomplish just that at some future time.  I accept with joy what is before me today.  I pray that He teaches me to appreciate it and use it for His purposes.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Doris Jacobs
    Oct 10, 2008 @ 11:08:03

    I always wanted a large family and God worked the right family into my life in the way that is best for us. I remember the day, where I was, and everything about the moment that I realized God had a plan just not the one I had thought. You may yet have a house full of children they may be from your genes and then agian they may be some group that tugs at your heart strings and you can not say no. I know if that is God’s plan for you you will not be able to say no.


  2. Becky
    Oct 11, 2008 @ 13:57:55

    I love you, and so does little Isaac! 🙂


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