A Break…

I feel I need to take a break from blogging.  I’ve been thinking about this since Friday.  I love to blog.  Many people have many different purposes for blogging.  Some people use it as a way to update their loved ones about what is going on with their lives and families.  Others try to create a blog all related around a theme or topic, to provide relevant information and reading material for their readers.  Still others use their blogs as a fun way to show off what they do and what they enjoy.

My purpose was basically the same as a journal.  I used my blog to release my emotions.  When I’m mad, sad, confused, happy, excited, proud, whatever I’m feeling, that’s what I write.  I don’t write the WHOLE truth every time.  I also don’t lie.  It’s not about truth or lies, it’s about what I’m feeling at that particular moment.  I don’t necessarily tell the whole story.  I tell what I need to tell to express what I’m feeling. 

I don’t care whether you read this or not.  I don’t write it so you can read it.  I write it so I can write it.  It has been so helpful to me.  Writing what I feel is cathartic.  Some of the feedback I have received has been so helpful, comforting, but not at all necessary.  I get what I need just by writing.

The problem is that people really do read this.  And apparently, sometimes me writing exactly what I feel can cause people to feel slighted or offended in some way.  However, I refuse to censor myself on my blog.  It doesn’t serve it’s purpose for me if I have to be super careful of every word I say.  It becomes more stressful than cathartic, and I don’t want to do that.

I’m beginning to wonder if some of what I say is appropriate for the masses to read.  But as I said, I’m not going to censor myself.  So I’m just not going to blog at all for awhile.  This is not goodbye to blogging, because it has been such a positive thing for me.  But until I figure this out, I need a break.  Now, every word I write, I wonder how people will take it and who will be angry with me. 

I’m so sad to be considering this, because it was wonderful to open up about how I truly feel.  It is the individual person’s choice whether to read this or not.  But sometimes it’s just nice to know that how I really feel is out there for you to read.

But not if it will make you feel bad, in any way.

So maybe I’ll be back tomorrow, maybe in a week, maybe longer.  I just can’t write with this feeling of being judged hanging over my head.  When I can’t write about an incredibly positive experience without someone taking something negative away from it, I can’t write anymore.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Betty
    Nov 05, 2007 @ 00:20:08

    I share your sadness that you may not blog for a while but I do understand why you need to step back from it. Although I am not very regular at commenting for you, I read all of your blogs–sometimes words just don’t come to me to respond. I feel like I stay “connected” to you atleast a little with your blogging. I suppose in a way that has been a bad thing that I am not leaving you comments because you don’t even know that I am kinda keeping up with you. I apologize for the “one sidedness” of this. Maybe without the blogs I will just have to make more time to email with you:)
    Love you, miss you and look forward to seeing you sometime through these holiday months.

    Reply

  2. Doris
    Nov 05, 2007 @ 07:06:03

    Sorry to hear that someone is feeling bad about what you feel and express. I mostly enjoy the reading of what is going through your head. Often I have to think a little harder afte reading something you write. You make me think about things I wouldn’t without your prompt. I would hope you continue to journal even if it is in one of those cutesy little blank books. I think that is good for everyone. Electronic journalling on a blog jsut opens up different opportunities and risks. Life without opportunity and risk is proetty boring. Find a safe way to take those opportunities and risks. Love you,
    Doris

    Reply

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