temporary misery

Do you ever have those moments where you are just miserable, and you really don’t want to be?  I’m not talking about the emotional moments, like when you experience a loss, or you lose your hope for some reason.  In those moments, you need to be miserable.  It feels good to be sad, to be depressed, because it’s how you get through the situation.  It is a much, much deeper misery than what I’m talking about, but it’s necessary.  I’m talking about the kind where you’re absolutely miserable for the moment, but the next day you can’t really remember what the big deal was.  I’m talking about like when you were a kid and you wanted so bad to go to a sleepover, but you had the flu.  Or when you’re an adult and you have the flu, for that matter!  And you want to feel better, so you go out and do something you just weren’t well enough for, and suddenly you’re back in bed again.

I am experiencing one of those moments tonight.  I don’t have the flu, luckily.  But I am having an awful reaction to laundry soap or fabric softener–at least I hope that’s what it is.  Because at 10:00 I finally decided to go get some dye and fragrance free detergent and wash a load for tomorrow.  But I forgot to buy some Benadryl or calamine lotion.  So now I’m doing laundry for tomorrow.  Laundry that was already clean, I might add.  And I’m sleepy but I can’t go to bed because I need this laundry to go in the dryer in a few minutes.  And I’m itchy and can’t really deal with it or ignore it, because I’m so tired.  And I don’t need the misery right now.  There’s nothing going on at the moment that makes me want the catharsis of feeling bad.  I just want to sleep.  And not be itchy

But, GOD HELP MAKE THIS TRUE!, tomorrow I will wake up and not really remember why I was so miserable.  I’ll just be dealing with it, like any other little happening in life.


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