chivalry or walk-all-over-me?

Woohoo for me!  I just figured out how to uninstall some stupid spyware by myself!  I accidently put it on my computer because something popped up a couple days ago, and I hit yes by mistake instead of no.  Oops.  Anyway, I had no idea what it would be, and it was this stupid “pop-up blocker” that actually seemed to cause tons of pop-ups, even when I wasn’t using my computer.  But, ha-ha spyware!  I took it off!  (In case you don’t know, figuring out how to do something like that on my computer is a big deal for me.  You can ask me almost anything about Word or Excell, but don’t ask me about things like viruses and spyware!!!)

On the way to work this morning, the radio dj’s were talking about guys being “too nice,” and I wanted so badly to put in my two cents, but I don’t really feel comfortable calling a radio station, you know?  So I thought I’d satisfy my need to put my two cents in right here.  One of the points they made is that guys are sometimes “too nice” because they don’t make decisions.  Like if you ask them where they want to go eat, they will say, “Oh I don’t care.  Wherever you want to go is fine with me.”  They made the point that this is only a bad thing if it’s a consistent thing, if that’s what they say every time, if they never make a choice.  Here’s my two cents:  First of all, girls are just as guilty of this as guys!!!  It’s not a gender-specific problem!  I have had to work really hard at answering the “what do you want to do” question with an actual answer, because I have the tendency to want to please.  Secondly, I am probably old-fashioned here, but I am looking for a guy who will lead.  I am looking for a guy who can be a man and take the lead in the marriage and the family.  A good leader will take the counsel of his wife very seriously.  He will also take very seriously the fact that his leadership affects his wife and his family, and it should affect it positively.  And then of course, I am looking for a man that I can follow, and you should look for a man that you can follow.  I shouldn’t attach myself to a guy whose values are so different from my own that his leadership will make me resent him.  I should attach myself to a guy who I can trust to lead me and our family in a good direction.  And of course, of course, I am only obligated to follow his leadership if I decide to marry him, not all the guys in all the world.  Dating is a time to “test out” the guy’s leadership, see if it fits my values, see if I could follow him. 

Wow, that is a really “traditional” way of thinking, huh??? 

The second point they brought up was holding doors and pulling out chairs and such.  They seemed to be saying that guys want to know whether or not girls want that stuff.  Apparently, guys don’t want to be “chivalrous” if it makes girls think they’re weird, but they want to do it if it makes girls happy.  I have one comment…GROW A BACKBONE!  Guys who think that way need to realize that even if girls don’t expect it or wouldn’t necessarily request it, THAT’S NOT THE POINT!  Guys seem to want some sort of guideline, so here’s mine:  Don’t be chivalrous because it’s what the girl wants.  Be chivalrous because you know it’s a good and respectful thing to do.  If you don’t think that, then don’t go out of your way to be chivalrous!  And girls, if a random guy opens a door for you at the mall, say thank you!  Make their day.  If your stupid feminist radar goes on high alert, ignore it and remember the guy was just being polite, and the least you can do is be polite back by thanking him. 

Okay, there’s my two cents.  What do you think?  Guys, especially?

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