God’s sense of humor March 24, 2007

“God wants you to be an adulteror?”

“God got a virgin pregnant by magic.  God is not playing by the rules.”

–Grey’s Anatomy

A church pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.

The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That’s what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went “boing!” and the kitten instantly sailed through the air -out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, “Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,” and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, “Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?”

She replied, “You won’t believe this,” and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, “Well, if God gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it.”  She told the pastor, “I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.”

Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor!

A guy, a girl, and a skateboard… March 18, 2007

I just saw the funniest thing.  A guy and girl came out of my apartment building and walked toward the street, like they were going to their car.  The girl was carrying a purse and the guy was carrying a skateboard.  They got to the street, and the guy set the skateboard down on the pavement.  Then, the girl sat down on the front of the skateboard, settled her purse on her lap and tucked her knees up to her chin.  There was probably less than a foot of space left, and the guy stepped onto the back of it and took off down the street!  I wonder how far they’re going on their “tandem” skateboard! 

How could there be a hole??? February 27, 2007

Thanks to my friend Blake, I will be spending the rest of my evening printing out this picture, cutting out the pieces, and trying to figure out where the hole came from! 

…to see a lamb at school… September 6, 2006

You didn’t think I could go very long into the school year without telling a cute kid story, did you???

I have a little boy in my room who was in preschool with another teacher in the building last year.  He’s always talking about Mrs. L this, and Mrs. L that.  “Mrs. L took me outside to play last year.”  “I practiced a fire drill with Mrs. L before.”  “Mrs. L didn’t have this game in her class.”  You get the idea.  One day we were singing Mary Had a Little Lamb.  We got to the verse about taking the lamb to school, and I asked the kids, “Have you ever seen a lamb at school?”  I was expecting them to say, no that’s silly, of course not.  This little guy pipes up, serious as can be, “No, Mrs. L never brought a lamb to school!”

a quick funny… February 24, 2006

Okay, I’ve got a new one for you…

Have you ever heard of the bread-ninja man?

One of my students has been asking for about two months if we could read the book about the “bread-ninja man.”  I’ve been telling him that I don’t think I have a book about any kind of ninja people, not even the ninja turtles.  I finally figured it out this week.  I’ll give you a hint:

Run, run as fast as you can!  You can’t catch me, I’m the bread-ninja man!!!

The Aniston-Pitt-Jolie-Vaughn dream :) January 25, 2006

I have the strangest dreams in the world!!!  And, I always wake up wishing that I hadn’t had any dreams, no matter if the dreams were good or bad.  Because my dreams are so vivid that I wake up feeling like I was never really asleep!  You know they say pregnant women have weird dreams….WHAT ARE MY DREAMS GOING TO BE LIKE WHEN I’M PREGNANT????? 

The other night I dreamed that I was some sort of apprentice marriage counselor, I guess.  Kind of like Charlie’s Angels for marriage counseling–I received a mission, and I had to go accomplish it.  Well, my task was to resolve an argument between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt about their kids.  Yeah, apparently those Jolie-Pitt kids were actually Aniston-Pitt kids.  So I jetted off to Los Angelos to find these people.  I found them at some awards show, like the Golden Globes or something.  I convinced Angelina Jolie and Vince Vaughn to watch the Aniston-Pitt kids while I dragged Jennifer and Brad off to some room to convince them to quit arguing over their kids.  (Yeah, I was on a first-name basis with all of these people in my dream.)  I’m not sure what I did, but it ended with Jennifer deciding that she didn’t really want kids anyway, so she let Angelina adopt them.  So Brad and Angelina took off with the now Jolie-Pitt kids.  And Vince and Jennifer, to thank me for my fantastic problem solving, gave me a house.  So Jennifer and I went off to see the house, and it was beautiful, with a huge deck overlooking a lake.  Jennifer and I were up on the deck, watching the sun set, and Vince shows up with BRISTOL!  So Bristol and I live happily ever after in this house overlooking a lake in California. 

Would you please tell me how I have acquired so much gossip/knowledge about the Aniston-Pitt-Jolie-Vaughn situation???  I hadn’t realized I was even paying attention!    And since I wasn’t paying attention, why did I dream about them? 

Pal has been doing GREAT for a couple of weeks!  (I’m knocking on wood as I type this…)  He has had ONE small accident on the floor in the past two weeks.  He has figured out ringing the bell by the door when he wants to go out.  He has figured out how to jump up on the couch.  And he has, many times, slept on the floor with no problems for a couple hours at night or on weekend mornings.  The one thing that bothers me still…I’m pretty sure he’s completely lost his instinct not to pee in his crate.  Every single day, except one wonderful surprise day last week, I come home to a wet blanket in his crate.  I’m not sure there’s an answer, except that I assume it will solve itself when he doesn’t need the crate anymore.  It won’t be long.  He really doesn’t need the crate at night anymore, whenever I decide to start letting him sleep wherever he wants.  So within a month or two, I’ll bet I’ll be ready to start leaving him home by himself for a little bit at a time without the crate.  So all in all, I’m thrilled with his progress! 

I’m very excited…This weekend I’m going to see Bristol!!!  Look for an update early next week with all the stories.  Have a great weekend!