My new favorite way to make coffee in the morning is with almond milk. I fill my travel mug about 2/3 full of coffee, fill it the rest of the way up with vanilla almond milk, and add some sugar or agave nectar to sweeten it. The almond milk gives it a rich, slightly nutty flavor. So good!
Isn’t this a cute picture? I found it on Google Images. I wonder where you can get a latte with a pretty foam design on top!
We spend a lot of time waiting to be happy. Especially at this stage in life, we all seem to be waiting for something.
I’ll finally be happy when I get married.
I’ll be happy when I get a promotion.
I’ll be happy when I have a baby.
I’ll be happy when I finish a masters degree.
I’ll be happy when I buy a house.
In every season of life, it’s tempting to put all your hopes of happiness on the next thing, whatever it may be. But here’s the thing…we are blessed and cursed in this world with a thing called time. In fact, lots of people seem to be running around living like we are neither blessed nor cursed with time. They just want to get through the time. We want to just get through today, or this month, or this year. Sometimes we don’t even know what it is we’re waiting for!
But as I said, time is a blessing and a curse that we have. We get one shot at this life. Many of us have heaven to look forward to, after we get through all our days. But as far as we know, whether we’re happy in this life or not, we don’t get to have it over again. If we don’t enjoy today, we will wake up tomorrow and we won’t get today back.
Not to disregard the importance of remembering the past and preparing for the future, but we live in the present. So, what have you done today to live, not just get through it?
My answers? I took a walk this evening when it was 82 degrees as the sun was setting. It was beautiful. I soaked up the sun and the warm air. I love weather! Pretty much all of it. I love the changes in the seasons. Today I just adore the heat and the sunshine, and I’m thinking about swimming and laying out and all sorts of warm weather things! The fact that it was cold for a few months makes me absolutely passionate about today!
I am in love with Chinese food from HyVee. Weird, right? 
But I’ve had it probably six times in the last two weeks or so. Always sesame chicken or general chicken. Yum!
I guess that’s it for today…but at this moment I can honestly say I am blissfully happy!
Right above my head, there is a shelf. It’s 18 inches wide, and about three feet long, and I’m holding it up. Stacked on top of that shelf are all the things that I need to do by the end of May. When I finish something, I take it off the shelf. When something new comes up that I need to add to the to-do list, I stack it on the shelf. The problem is, things are being stacked on faster than I can finish them and take them off!
It is 2:32 a.m. I have been home for the night since…several hours ago. I got up at 8:00 this morning. I plan to get up around 8:30 or 9:00 tomorrow. I should be sleeping! Anyone reading this who ever tucked me in 20 years ago has the right to come to my apartment and give me a swift smack on the backside, take away my toys (aka, computer and t.v.), and turn off my light! Because I am acting like a child. It is my responsibility to make sure I get enough sleep, and I’m not doing it. I haven’t been, really, for the past four years or so. I can stay up as late as I want, so I do. No one is here to witness me watching t.v. until a ridiculously late hour, taking a shower at 2:15 a.m., and then dinking around on my computer while my hair dries. It’s silly. This is not how adults behave.
Right?
This is a bad habit. Bad habits generally have a deeper issue behind them, and mine is, I can so I will. And, of course, the lure of the computer or t.v. screen. I believe them when they say the lights of the t.v. screen do things to your brain to make you not want to go to sleep. I assume a computer screen does the exact same thing to your brain. It’s not that I’m not tired. It’s almost 3 a.m.! I’m so tired I’m just hoping all my sentences make sense! But there is something that makes me not want to turn off the light and go to sleep.
You know, I will also say what you probably already know, that living alone doesn’t agree with me. I’m happiest when I’m surrounded by people. I had such a hard time as a junior in college, when I moved out of the dorms and had my own bedroom for the first time in my life. Four years ago, I moved into an apartment alone, no roommates, for the first time. And that is when this consistent lack of sleep began. I can be alone just fine in the daytime, but when it comes time to turn off the lights, it’s more uncomfortable. It feels like not everyone is home yet, even though of course I know that if I’m home, everyone is home! Actually, I don’t really notice that feeling anymore, so maybe it just really is a bad habit at this point…
My principal asked me to stop by her office today when I had a moment. I came, she asked me in, and she shut the door. Then she told me that I won’t be teaching preschool next year…
I’LL BE TEACHING FIRST GRADE!!!!
YAY!!!!!
Yes, I asked for this. I filled out my paperwork to request a grade change, but I didn’t specify the grade level. I just told my principal I am ready for a change, and she can put me wherever she has an opening. I honestly didn’t have a preference, I just put it out in the universe and waited to see what would happen.
I am beyond excited! From the outside, you might think, “How different can first grade be from preschool?” Well, the kids are not so different, really. They are able to use a kleenex, go to the bathroom, and put on their coats without adult assistance. They are able to spend 7 hours away from mommy without too much stress. Other than that, they’re still little kids who are excited to come to school, who love their teacher, and who have big imaginations. “So, why do you want a change?” Because the job, the job is so different!!! A preschool teacher’s job is to teach the kids how to be at school, and to expose them to lots of experiences they are supposed to have had outside of school. A preschool teacher’s day is made up of lots and lots of bathrooms, coats, zippers, kleenexes, conflict resolution, bandaid distributing, broken toy fixing, redirecting, redirecting, redirecting…peppered with a few moments of academic content. A first grade teacher’s day is focused on academic content…peppered with a few moments of conflict resolution and bandaid distributing!
I don’t mind the little kids. I fall in love with the little kids! What I do mind is the job. “I went to college for this?” That thought crosses my mind more than I care to admit. Now, to be fair, the world of early childhood education needs well-educated and highly motivated people among its ranks, and I am proud to be a part of it, and I am 100% behind the cause of early childhood education. I just know, I am not quite the right person for this particular job. I am so glad that I did it for four years, and I have learned a lot. Early childhood is still my thing, and I do not want to go teach 7th grade, or high school, or go become a businesswoman. I just want to teach content!
And now, I will! Math! Social studies! Guided reading groups! Literacy work stations! SPELLING!!!
(Yes, that is a picture of my actual house, my actual Bible, and my actual glass of water…Isn’t a digital camera fun?)
“So, Dawn, what did you read in your bible this morning?” Well, I’m glad you asked!
Listening and Doing
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.
26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
–James 1:19-27 (NLT)
There are several good points in this passage, but I want to focus on just one. In my bible, verse 22 says, “Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves.” That phrase, doers of the word, stuck in my head all day. There is this boundary, which is at the same time a fine line and a gaping canyon, between knowing what we want to do and actually doing it. It is a fine line because knowing what I want to do can be so close! I can have decided, down to the most minute detail, how to act. I can know why I want to act, and how I can do it. But at the same time, it is sometimes a gaping canyon to jump across to reach the point of actually acting! Sometimes it baffles me. Why is it such a leap?
“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says.” Clear, and direct. Let us go forth and do what we read in our bibles, and what we hear in our churches. Let us be doers of the word!
I made a yummy spring lunch for myself today: Green salad with grated carrots, tomatoes, hard boiled eggs, and balsamic vinegrette, with radishes and cottage cheese on the side. And, of course, my iced caramel macchiato!
I’ve seen other bloggers post pictures of particularly yummy or pretty foods, and I like it, so I think you can expect more of this! I’m enjoying my digital camera, that’s for sure!
Bless me, for I have sinned…I covet my neighbor’s apartment!
Although, no one lives there, so it’s not technically my neighbor’s apartment at this time…
It has wood floors. Wood floors! I have always wanted hard floors in my home. I’ve caught glimpses of the floors before, but mostly the people who lived there kept their blinds shut when it was dark out, of course. Tonight while I was walking Pal, I noticed the the blinds were wide open, and from far away I could see there was no furniture or people inside, so I walked right up to the building for a closer look. Sure enough, wood floors! Throughout the living room, dining room, kitchen, and hallway. Vinyl in the bathroom, and carpet in the bedroom.
It wouldn’t hurt to just stop by the office tomorrow and ask, right?
(If you’re looking for pictures from my weekend with Jessica to celebrate her wedding, don’t worry, they’re coming! It turns out being a woman of the 21st century with the digital camera doesn’t automatically mean I take the thing out of my purse and use it! So I’m waiting for some pictures from my friends to supplement my scrawny collection of 5 pictures from the whole weekend.)
I’m thinking “unity” thoughts again today. Awhile back I made a decision that if I’m going to “be” Catholic, I need to understand what the Catholic church teaches and get on board with it. Or, if it turns out that I discover that the Catholic church is wrong, I need to understand why. Either way, I need to be able to verbally defend my position, so to speak.
(In this post, I’m going to use the terms “Catholics” and “Protestants,” even though I don’t think they sound like what I mean. Labels like that sound judgemental, and I hope you understand I’m not making judgements, just observations. I’m using label-like terms for ease of reading, because saying “people who participate in a Catholic church,” etc., would be distracting to the reader.)
I’ve found testimonies of Protestants who converted to Catholicism. I’ve found testimonies of Catholics who convert to a Protestant church. The thing is, both perspectives make very good points! The idea that the Catholic church would claim itself to be above God is repulsive. But the idea that Protestants are missing out on key elements of Biblical worship is sad, as well. And there are hundreds more arguments from both sides!
I find it very sad that there are sides at all. I think God wants a church that is one, the one Body of Christ. I don’t know what He thinks about all the specifics that different denominations disagree on, and I don’t think I’m going to know until I’m asking Him in person in heaven. I will tell you that despite all my research, the most important thing remains the most important thing. I am to accept Jesus’ gift of his death on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. And I am to follow him, by pursuing a personal relationship with him, and by treating others the way he wants me to. Everything else is just discrepancies in how people do those things.
One thing I find very discouraging…and I may have talked about this before…is that I seem to meet all kinds of Catholics who have not accepted Jesus’ gift of forgiveness, and who do not pursue a relationship with him. They seem to be “culturally Catholic,” meaning they follow traditions and rituals, but not God. So whether or not I find myself agreeing with Catholicism as a set of beliefs, I find myself in conflict with my fellow Catholics. I find myself defending Catholicism to those who are not Catholic, and defending Christianity to those who are Catholic. (Not all who are Catholic, I must clarify. I have met some very godly men and women who participate in a Catholic church, and I am so grateful for their example. If it weren’t for them, I know for sure this wouldn’t be a conflict within me, I would be firmly on the Protestant side of the fence.)
I have asked this question of Catholic friends in my Bible study: If God led you to leave the Catholic church, would you go? I was floored when I found myself arguing with some of them! I wasn’t proposing that it’s probably what God would do, or anything like that. My question was simply, if God asked you to do something so dramatic and life-changing, and you were certain it was God who was asking, would you say yes? It started a deep and meaningful discussion, which was my hope. Toward the end of the discussion, I wrapped it up with my simple statement: “I follow Jesus, not the Catholic church. I am a Christian, a follower of Christ. I go where he tells me to go. End of story.” I was profoundly disappointed and discouraged that my statement was so shockingly received.
Your church community is supposed to be a safe place, a place where you can be confident that everyone shares your perspective in this one issue, the role of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in our lives. I don’t know if other Christian churches are like this, but I’m saddened to discover that within a group of people who are supposed to have fellowship and community, there is such division.
Perhaps the Catholic church is Christ’s true vision for his followers. I don’t know yet. I’m starting to doubt if I will ever know. But if we as Catholics are really Christian, if we are really followers of Christ, then we should be willing to follow him anywhere. And if the Catholic church can baptize infants into the community of followers of Christ… I don’t know, I’m starting to doubt (again) that a church community can force faith into a soul the way that doctors can inject antibiotics by IV. Just because I’m not in a church receiving Communion doesn’t mean God isn’t in me today. Just because I do the physical act of taking Communion doesn’t mean I’m asking God to be present inside me. On the other hand, if I do take Communion with a true and prayerful desire for Jesus’ presence, I will receive it. But if I say a prayer in the morning asking for Jesus’ presence, I will also receive it. I think faith is not about following a prescribed set of rules and traditions (Catholic or otherwise). I think faith is about pursuing the Lord, and answering when he pursues us. It’s about a real and true following of Jesus Christ with our lives.
I will post more stories about this weekend later, with pictures, because I am now a woman of the 21st century with a digital camera. But as you might know, being a bridesmaid is exhausting!!! I can’t imagine how exhausting it is to be a bride. When my turn comes, will someone remind me to exercise a lot so that I’m in great shape and have lots of energy? But despite the exhaustion, I would like to reflect a bit on some lessons I learned this weekend…
This weekend I felt the pull to cling to God’s promises, no matter how difficult the situation. This was a hard weekend for me to be involved in a wedding, thanks to some very fresh relationship happenings in my own life. And exhaustion never helps difficult situations! God didn’t promise it would be easy, He promised that He would always be there. When I reach my breaking point, God gives me a rest, or more strength to go on, or opens another path. He will bring me to my breaking point over and over, because that is how we grow, but He will never leave me there alone.
Last night (or rather, this morning, when I finally went to bed!), I had a dream. The basic plot was, I was completely focused on a man who wasn’t interested in me, but dating a man who was great. Despite my complete focus on this man that wasn’t right for me, this other man continued to show me love and give me just what I needed. (You remember how strange my dreams are, so let’s leave it at that, without distracting ourselves with the crazy details!) I awoke from that dream in the middle of the night with such a gentle peace. I felt as though God was giving me a message. He was telling me to let go of my obsessive focus, or maybe look through or around it, and watch for the man that will be everything I need when I least deserve it.
Less than a week ago, a friend gave me some advice and told me to honestly make a list of what I am looking for in a man. Of course I have heard this tidbit of “wisdom” before, and I’ve never been comfortable with it. I don’t want to create an imaginary man who looks nothing like any real person. For example, I don’t want to get it in my head that my future husband will be in a certain line of work, or have certain physical appearance qualities, nothing that would be too specific and distract me from the reality that I don’t know yet what my future husband will be like! But over the course of the weekend, I felt like I was accidentally making a list. Actually, it feels like God has placed these things on my heart. It’s simple: He will love God as much as I do. He will follow God and lead me. He will pray with me. He will hug and kiss me all the time. That is all I need in this world.
God uses all kinds of ways to change us or get our attention. This weekend, for me, He used the absence of someone who I thought was important to me, and the example of a good friend who, after 13 years of friendship, continues to teach me and inspire me.
