I’m quite obsessed with this song recently. I love the lyric:
Maybe you were just afraid, knowing you were miles away from the place where you needed to be. And that’s right here with me.
I also love the fairy dust sound at the very end. 
A Pear-ody :-) November 18, 2009
Check out Honor Society singing “Snackin’ on a Pear:”
Is that too funny or what?
Three Unrelated Blog Stories :) November 17, 2009
I just feel like blogging…been working for a couple of days on a topic that I’m not ready to “go public” with yet, but it has been very cathartic to write about and eventually it will be great to get it out there. But tonight…
I’m drinking a banana/pineapple/grape/spinach smoothie, made with my new blender. The one I bought almost two years ago bit the dust the other day. I read that when you live a green smoothie lifestyle, a regular blender will last about a year. I figure if I can get nearly two years out of a $35 blender, I’m doing just fine. I actually ended up buying one of the same brand, Oster, but a little higher quality with some better features. The pitcher is glass, not plastic, and the lid is higher quality. The motor is better. It comes with a “food processor” attachment, and it seems a little quieter. I like the brand because the moving parts are all metal, instead of the plastic that the other brands use. When I’m making green smoothies daily, I want moving parts that are going to last!
I have a cold! I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’m hoping tonight is better. It’s nothing compared to my mystery illness in August/September, but it’s not pleasant. (Sarah and I have decided in our professional opinion that I probably had H1N1. It followed the pattern of other people I know who have had it, including nausea and fever, followed closely by aches and flu-like symptoms, and rounding out the experience with killer secondary infections, in my case, pharyngitis and bronchitis. I like latching onto that idea, because if so, I don’t need to be concerned about it anymore. Also, it doesn’t make me feel like a baby for staying sick for so long. I mean, if you’re sick you’re sick, and if we knew how to not be sick, nobody would ever be sick for longer than ten minutes, but I can say, “Hey, I had the hini flu!” Plus, I don’t need to worry about whether or not to try and get the shot, should it ever become available to me. Darn it, I wish the PA had done a flu test! Is there such a thing as an H1N1 immunity test?) In any case, I’m not lay-on-the-couch-all-day, can’t-barely-walk-the-dog sick, but I wish it were about three days from now so I could feel better. And as my coworker Kelli recently said while she had the same cold, “There is nothing so unattractive as a sick person trying to sleep!”
Last year during a preschool staff development meeting, there was a question about pressure from the kindergarten teachers to prepare the preschoolers for the traditional school setting of kindergarten. You know, get them used to the idea that they won’t have choices, that they will have to sit still and quiet for longer periods of time, that school is not about fun. An early childhood consultant said the following:
“If you knew your children wouldn’t have any food starting tomorrow, would you starve them today to prepare them? No, you would feed them as well as you could today, to prepare them.”
I don’t know if it was her idea or if she was quoting someone else, but this year I feel like I’m the one starving the children. Preschool in our district is very progressive and non-traditional, and I fell in love with it. It absolutely fits what I believe about how children learn best.
I need to start thinking more about the things I like about teaching first grade.
At the same time, if preschool is the right place for me…
Sarah & Jon November 15, 2009
Our family has grown once again! It is such a blessing to add two siblings in one year. Yesterday Sarah and Jon got married, and no matter what he tells you, Jon is lucky and thrilled to have me for a sister-in-law! And seriously, I am happy to welcome him to the family!
The maid of honor traditionally gives a speech at a wedding reception. I would imagine that the maid of honor is traditionally nervous for that speech! And I am nothing if not traditional. So I don’t know exactly what I said. I know what I meant to say, and I hope that’s the message that came across.
Here is what I hope I said:
Sarah and I have been best friends for a long time now. We were born just 23 months apart, so I don’t remember her not being there, and she obviously doesn’t remember me not being there. We started out doing everything together, from playing when we were supposed to be sleeping, to being “two moms” to all our stuffed animals, to having picnics outside with saltines and apple slices.
Sarah is my best friend, and she always will be.
Sarah has always been a good influence, a good example of how to live, and a strong leader. As we have grown up a little more the past few years, and we have –hopefully!– each been growing in our faith, I have seen Sarah be a good influence on the faith of the people around her. But since she met Jon, there has been one thing stuck in my head:
Let your light shine before men, so that they might see your good works and praise your Father in heaven.
Together, Sarah and Jon seem to have a light that shines. They both have such a servant heart, always wanting to know what they can do to make someone’s life easier. They both want to be a good example to those around them, to do the right thing whether or not it is popular or comfortable. They ask everyone around them, in so many ways with their words and their actions, “What can I do to help you today?”
I’m sure Sarah and Jon have been given plenty of good advice today. Many people have prayed for them today, and we will continue to pray for them. I can’t say anything else better than it has been said today. So let me finish with two verses from Romans, in a section with the fitting heading “Marks of the True Christian.”
Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, –and we all pray you won’t have too much of that!– and persevere in prayer.
Congratulations, Sarah and Jon!
My Favorite Place In the World November 8, 2009
(For best effect, click play now so you can listen while you read!)
When all the stars are in line, the 10:45 Mass at my church is my favorite thing in the world. Today was one of those days. There is nothing I love more than church music done well. And when every factor lines up just right, we are a choir who does church music well. When luck is on our side, the music and the message combine to form a powerful worship experience. When the stars align…
Of course it’s not luck! Of course it’s not “the stars being aligned.” The Holy Spirit is present here with us. Whether we feel it or not. Those experiences when we feel it, when something is different, joyful…well, I think of those experiences as the hit we need to stay addicted. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but for me it’s obviously the music. I’ve been going to 10:45 Mass at St. Vincent most weekends for several years because I hope I will experience that ethereal feeling of God being right with us. Joining the choir has made those experiences even deeper. But even when we have an “off” day, even when I don’t feel it, I know it’s true. But I’m so glad that I do have occasional experiences of feeling those emotions, because it makes it easier to remember.
And I wonder…are those emotionally charged experiences a result of consistent pursuit of the Lord?
From Janelle at Girltalk:
The practice of the spiritual disciplines is a little like planting a seed. (Please ignore the fact that anything I have ever planted has died, and try to stick with me here.) You plant a tiny seed in the dirt and you wait…water…wait… water. (I know that there is a little more to it than that, but you get the picture). It takes time. The plant only grows after consistent, faithful tending to the seed.
I met with the Lord this morning. I’m looking pretty much the same as I did yesterday (enjoying a huge glazed donut—the baby asked for it). Mike hasn’t told me that I look more holy than the day before. But as I read the Word and prayed this morning, I was watering. Lord willing, I will wake up tomorrow morning and do the same thing. Morning after morning of watering and waiting, and I will eventually see a little green thing sticking up out of the dirt. Growth! More watering, more waiting—more growth!
Rebellion October 29, 2009
I recently heard the statement that rebelling is a form of self-preservation, a way of claiming your space or your rights, so to speak.
I certainly like that idea better than “rebellion=character flaw.”
I should be reading two and a half more chapters in The CAFE Book: Engaging All Students in Daily Literacy Assessment and Instruction. (Doesn’t that sound like a hoot and a half.) I want to be watching t.v. I would feel more inner peace if I were washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom. I need to be asleep.
Instead, I am rebelling against all those things, and I’m blogging. I am in great need of self-preservation. I am in great need of reclaiming my space in my life.
I am stressed.
I am eating my words, spoken about six months ago. A colleague asked me, “Are you ready for the pressure of teaching first grade next year? Are you sure you want all that stress?” I answered that I was looking forward to just teaching literacy, math, science, and social studies, and not being responsible for music, large motor, and art. I said I was looking forward to students who knew how to wash their hands and use a kleenex and zip their coats. I said I was looking forward to having lunch, recess, music, P.E., and art time away from my students, rather than a 25-minute lunch break a couple times a week. I couldn’t possibly see how, with all that planning time, teaching first grade could be more pressure than teaching preschool.
(I hear how that sounds, and in the interest of self-preservation, don’t you DARE judge preschool teachers unless you’ve been there. I am not trying to sound funny, I am not trying to make you laugh. I am trying to hold onto my sanity with my fingernails.)
I…WAS…WRONG.
I don’t understand how people enjoy this, or how people want to do this again after experiencing it for one year. The workload grows every day. I refuse to stay at school for 18 hours a day, but even if I did, I wouldn’t be done. My to-do list gets longer, instead of shorter. I feel as though I am dropping the ball and letting people down on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.
I feel as though I don’t have time to enjoy my students. Truthfully, as a preschool teacher I formed a bond with every single child I taught. I still see them in the hall and they are “mine.” And even the oldest former preschoolers find me for a hug several times a week. A key component of helping them succeed in preschool and really accomplish all we needed to accomplish to prepare them for kindergarten was to enjoy them, to really get to know them and love on them and have fun with them. A child who is enjoyed wants to do a good job for you. We don’t enjoy each other this year. I don’t have time to enjoy them. I don’t feel I’m allowed to have fun, or to allow them to have fun. The only students that I really feel a bond with are my former preschoolers, and we already had a bond!
I feel as though if I’m doing it right, teaching should take up my whole life. I shouldn’t have a dog, or be in music ensembles, or have friends or family, because the most important thing in my life is supposed to be my job. To come home and feed my kids supper and put them to bed, if I had kids, is supposed be like an unimportant sidenote to my day. If that is the case, I will not be a teacher when it’s time to raise kids. Having three months of summer would not make it worth nine months of this. Even in my life as it is now, I can’t live like this. I can’t live with the guilt of going to choir at 7:30 when there are teaching things to do, and I also can’t live with not going to choir, or walking the dog, or hanging out with my friends, or seeing my family because my whole life is about my job. I can’t live with the fact that tonight, I chose not to go swimming with some friends because I have those stupid three chapters to read. I avoided friends in order to avoid the guilt of not making my job my whole life, and therefore, tonight, my job is my whole life. My job isn’t important enough to be my whole life.
There are many factors at work here, but if what could be fixed were fixed, I’m still not sure this would be worth it. If I had my own classroom…If I had a great class…If I had windows…aaahhh, windows… (It’s going to get darker before it gets lighter. I need all the sunshine I can get.) I am working in a culture that would have you believe that you want one thing—to be successful at work. If you don’t have a successful marriage, if you’re not raising kind and loving children, if you don’t have a relationship with your parents or siblings, if you don’t have a relationship with God…it doesn’t matter, because you’re a really good (insert career here). Even if I loved it, it wouldn’t be worth that.
I may be in the minority here, but to me the most important thing is family. Apart from God, obviously. Except “apart from God” isn’t the right statement, becuase God established family as the “human unit,” if you’ll forgive my made-up term. Petals come in blossoms, mountains come in ranges, kittens come in litters, humans come in families. Catch my drift? Well, my family relationships totally suck, but I have my work… That’s the most backwards sentiment ever. Family is the important thing in life. If the golden rule is to love my neighbor as myself, my family members are my closest neighbors. My favorite jobs I’ve ever had: working in the infant room at the day care center, and teaching preschool…neither of them would be any fun if they were to the exclusion of the important things. The best job I can think of: making music for a living…doesn’t hold a candle to family. Truly.
Of all the jobs in the world…teaching is about children! After 5 years, I am still just indignant to think that, of all the jobs in the world, this one would make me feel guilty for neglecting it in favor of family and friends! Never in my life did I expect to write a blog post with the topics family and teaching as opposing ideas!
So, because I’ve already neglected my friends tonight, and because I have family staying with me this weekend, I am rebelling against my job, not reading my three chapters, and reestablishing my boundaries by going to sleep, so that I can truly enjoy my family this weekend!
Not Me Monday October 26, 2009
When one of my students held up a living, wiggling cricket for me to see, I did not shriek, jump back three feet, and yell at the top of my lungs, “Either KILL it, or take it OUTSIDE!!!” I am the adult, and I would never allow my childish fears to get in the way of my authority in the classroom!
At the same time, I did not find myself unable to kill a poor defenseless worm that I found in my apartment, and instead gently scoop it onto an old receipt to free it outside! Despite the fact that it won’t survive out there much longer anyway, due to the colder weather. If I do have an irrational fear of small wiggly creatures, (and I most certainly do not!), it would not be made even further irrational by discriminating against one form of “small wiggly” over another!
I recently bought a mop. I did not wait two weeks before actually using it. After mopping for the first time, I most certainly did not hang the mop upside down from my bathroom towel rod to dry. After letting it dry for a few days, I did not suddenly realize that it has a hole in the handle, and I could simply hang it from a hook, politely hidden in a closet, rather than taking up valuable towel rod space in the bathroom!
A Small Rant October 22, 2009
Arrrghghgh…I just feel like pissing people off today.
But I am too damn nice to really do it.
As you may know, a situation with a coworker is difficult right now. Not the worst thing imagineable or anything, but still, I’m having a hard time this year. A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that I yelled at her. Yelled and screamed and cried and jumped up and down.
And today, in the awake world, I had the urge to actually do it.
I want my classroom to MYSELF. I want people to GET OUT OF THE WAY and let me teach. I want to have a stinkin’ plan BEFORE five minutes before the lesson. I want to be treated like a TEACHER, not a para. And I want some FREAKING WINDOWS.
I am too sponge-like. I have to be conscious not to take on others’ emotions as my own, and I tend to start sounding like people I listen to a lot. And unfortunately, that seems to go for attitudes as well. Because I am experiencing a lot of passive-aggressiveness, I forget to be direct. I got some great advice tonight: Let nothing go unsaid. Because, as much as it might seem easier to say, sure, fine, let’s do it your way, it will be better in the long run to stand up for what I think.
And also, it might feel even more cathartic than screaming and yelling. Or ranting on a blog.
Life…Interrupted October 21, 2009
*Sigh…* Just when I’m getting really motivated about my job…
I stayed home sick today. I have a tried-and-true pattern for stomach viruses, and whatever that was, it didn’t follow my pattern! But it was fast, and I appreciate that. I’m told (via the dependable internet, and by friends) that if it’s fast like that, it means it was food poisoning. And I have identified a likely culprit, some expired fresh spinach that I ate. (So, to all who might scoff at my usual rigidness regarding expiration dates…I tried it your way, and your way made me puke.)
I also appreciate SubFinder!!! I was talking to a friend on the phone last night, who is also a teacher, and he has to actually call a list of subs when he’s sick. Ugh! When you’re sick, that’s the last thing you would want to do! A person should just be able to call in sick to their job, when they’re sick, and let other people take care of their job for a day. Teachers give of themselves a lot for their jobs, and there are some perks most people take for granted that teachers never experience. I appreciate that calling in sick is one perk I have.
I spent the day eating small quantities of random foods, trying to figure out what I can stomach so that I can get back to normal. Apple bread is good, potato salad is not. (Don’t ask me what made me think it would be…) And the best thing in the world today…Progresso lentil soup! I don’t quite remember buying it, but I saw the can in the cupboard and thought it might be a good bland-ish food with plenty of water and no meat and that salty soup flavor that you crave when you’re dehydrated…and it was awesome!
And water. Lots and lots of cold water to drink.
I also spent the day watching television. I was reminded that the last half hour of Armageddon makes me cry. I also discovered a new show that made me cry, The Locator. It’s a reality show where this investigator guy helps people find their long-lost loved ones. I watched a good Hannah Montana and a Wizards of Waverly Place, and a couple of Suite Lifes. I watched some Golden Girls. I abandoned my t.v. for awhile and started catching up on Grey’s Anatomy with the online episodes. (Don’t talk to me about it yet, I still have about four episodes to go!) Armageddon was on again, so I watched the first half hour or so, until Ben Affleck proposes to Liv Tyler. I watched the first ten minutes of Bridget Jones and decided I just can’t take the drama today. I watched the first 45 minutes of the Los Angelos Philharmonic on public television. (Did you know that Gustavo Dudamel, the director, is my age???)
And I think if I don’t turn my t.v. on again for a week, that would be just fine.
So, I am freshly showered, well-hydrated, and gently fed. (Freshly showered, so that I can sleep in as late as possible tomorrow morning.) I’m ready to get back to it tomorrow, and use this rare time of motivation!
Not Me Monday October 19, 2009
One of my favorite bloggers, MckMama, has a great feature called Not Me Monday. It’s always so entertaining, and I decided to give it a try today!
When I discovered that all of my cups were in the dishes a couple of weeks ago, I did not pour orange juice into a wine glass to drink for breakfast! I always do all my dishes immediately after using them, so I would never find that all the cups were dirty. And if I did find myself in this situation, I would absolutely drop everything to wash the dishes right then, rather than making such an absurd choice in order to avoid a household chore!
I was walking the dog one last time before bed, and in the dark, couldn’t find the…stuff. There was someone on one of the balconies nearby, but I’m not self-conscious! So I did not pretend to pick something up with the poop bag, and tie an empty poop bag shut, and walk over to the garbage and throw away an empty poop bag. Not me!!!
In September, I did not leave my travel coffee mug at school until it got moldy. Ew, I would never do such a thing! Then, I absolutely did not throw it away to avoid the gross chore of washing and thoroughly disinfecting it. Now, I have not ventured to every Wal-Mart in the city looking for a replacement, as they seem to have stopped carrying my beloved $4 travel mug with the stainless steel interior! (Mugs with stainless steel interiors don’t absorb the flavors, and also, there is some talk that putting hot food in plastic containers releases carcinogenic toxins. Mugs with stainless steel interiors also appear to run $15-$30 in most cases. I want a $4 mug like I found last time!)
As a result of the said mold incident…er, the denied mold incident…I have absolutely not stopped at Scooters or Starbucks on 90% of my workdays! I know exactly how much that is a waste of money, and I would never allow myself to become so addicted…er, fond of blended caramel lattes and caramel macchiatos!
